After a short day of riding, sun but cold wind, I sat in the Monmouth library feeling negative. It got dark. Rain started. I felt mildly feverish and very lethargic. My thoughts where pretty much this:
I don't want to do this. I want to be warm and safe. I want the opportunity to be lazy. I don't want to go back outside, I don't want to ride all day and crawl into a tent. I don't even want to find Ryan's friend's place in town.
I was composing this post in my head already, because I know all this negativity is a passing thing and maybe writing it down will get it out. Then, I went out in the rain and found the house. Soon after I got there, Michelle told me she and Ryan had decided to take the train to LA instead of riding down the coast. My initial reaction was uncertain, and I don't think I hid my concern well. As soon as she said it, I knew I didn't want to ride down the coast alone in rainy november. I want to be warm, dry, but still moving. Taking a train down means I can ride in southern California, Nevada, or Arizona until I run out of funds. That is a very good thing. It's just... The abruptness of the change left me feeling a bit imposed.
That was a few hours ago. I called my mother so she could listen to me talk myself through it, bringing my emotional reaction up in line with my logical response. Then I got online and sketched out some routes around the area I'll be. Next I need to look at any technical difficulties in moving my bike and trailer via train.
So, as it now stands, my vague outline of a plan is this: I'll ride to Astoria. It would be nice if this part included some sun and enjoyment. I'll go to Portland with Ryan and Michelle. I've put out some requests for a warmshowers host there. I also need, badly, to have my cracked rim replaced. After a day or two in bike paradise, I'll take the Amtrak to San Diego, and resume resting and chilling out Jeff, the first prexisting family/friend type I'll meet up with since leaving Minnesota. At some point, then, I'd like to ride up to LA, meet with with Ryan and Michelle, and visit Alex in Santa Barbara. Around this time I'll also be looking for work options. From there, I'll head east towards either Arizona or Nevada, and possibly a job. Sounds pretty simple, eh?